1. Give Necessary Information to Your Photographer

If you have a child with special needs, a sensory processing disorder, developmental or cognitive delays, please let your photographer know several days before your session. Be as specific as needed to help your photographer feel prepared to meet your child.

For example, if your child takes instruction very literally then saying a joke like, “Don’t smile,” in an attempt to get him/her to smile, it’s important that your photographer knows that this won’t work.

Or if your child gets easily overwhelmed around people with high energy, it would be best for your photographer to be as calm and gentle as possible.

Another thing that may be helpful for your photographer to know is if you are a blended family. If little Joey’s dad is married to Sarah, and Joey calls her by her name and not “Mom,” then this is helpful for the photographer to know when giving direction to the family. We want to try our best to avoid uncomfortable situations for everyone.

2. Have a Conversation with Your Child Prior to the Photo Shoot

Do not spring this upon your child hours before hand. Bring up the fact that the whole family is going to be asking a photographer to take some pictures of them at (insert location) and explain what will take place. If your child is old enough, you might want to lay out the foundation for how you expect them to act during the photo shoot and the expectations that are expected of them. Of course, try to maintain a calm atmosphere and inform your child that this will be a FUN family bonding experience that they are sure to enjoy 😉 

3. Find a Comfortable Outfit 

Some of the greatest stresses for children are often ill-fitting clothes. Trust me. Sometimes that adorable head band or set of jean overalls are not worth family photos that are flooded with tears and pained looks of exasperation on your children’s faces. Make your kids feel included in the process by letting them choose what to wear out of two options you're happy with. Pick out what everybody is going to wear the day before so there is no last minute scrambling or melt-downs (by both kids and adults).

Check out my “What to Wear Guide” here.

Additionally, always dress for the weather! Check the weather forecast before the scheduled photo shoot, and try to abide by it. I try to address this issue by suggesting the incorporation of layers. This way you can add or take off layers according to the ever-changing and rather unpredictable Hawaii weather! If children are hot or cold, they will not shy away from letting us know it!

4. Rested children, are well behaved children

Make sure they’ve rested or napped before hand. If they’ve had a chance to rest and re-energize, they are most likely to be in a better, more receptive mood. You definitely don’t want to plan a photoshoot for kids after a long and active or adventurous day. They will be overstimulated, tired, and cranky.

5. Let them get familiar with their surroundings and let loose a little bit by arriving early

Arrive early and let them play or run around a bit. This gets them familiar and more comfortable with their surroundings and helps them to feel more relaxed once we begin. I know we are worried about dirtying outfits and getting messy, but outfits can always be put on right before we start the session.

6. Keep Your Children Well Fed + Consider Bringing Snacks! 

Hey, if adults can get hungry, kids can too! I recommend small and clean snacks. Try to stay away from any snack that can stain or make a mess. The best option though is making sure your children have plenty to eat prior to the session. Think cheerios, plain crackers, or anything in the pale colored family. Nothing chocolate, powdered, or ORANGE (if you know, you know). The last thing you want is smears of bright colors, or messy looking poop stains on clothing or faces! Photoshop can only do so much.

7. Hydrate!

Bring plenty of water not only for the children, but parents too! My main priority is to keep the whole family hydrated and safe during the session because the weather can heat up unpredictably, and we strive to be prepared. Make sure to encourage your kids to drink water before and during the session, and along those lines, always try to have a bathroom break before the family photo session begins! 

8. Natural Smiles are Preferred 

Now for parents, this can be a big one! I understand the unnecessary stress we often place upon ourselves as parents. But I promise, telling your child “that’s not your real smile” or “smile how you did before” or “don’t smile like that”, while it may seem like a logical solution to your child’s uncomfortable grimace, will only stress your child more. If you are yearning for a genuine smile for your family photos, you’ll need a genuine smile and laugh! So instead, as photographer, I focus on acting silly and cheerful to elicit joyful expressions from your children. 

Do not stress them out. Plan for a potential meltdown- they always happen. Sometimes when this happens, kids just need a moment to recompose themselves. Sometimes this means that parents just need to step away for a bit. Let me talk to them, let me distract them. A bunch of people calling to them in different directions, constantly asking for a smile, or threatening them with this and that, does not a happy child make.

9. Reward Systems

I have mixed emotions about bribery. I think this concept definitely works for some children. For others, it may make them upset. You can help put your child in a good mood prior to the session by letting them know you are treating them to something AFTER the session – ice cream, a playdate, a fun movie, etc. I am wary of offering treats during the session itself, or letting them know you have a treat for them in your bag. Often, especially with younger children who will definitely lack patience and don’t understand the “why can’t I have it now” concept, this will just lead to a cranky kiddo screaming for that lollipop, or conversely refusing to let it go for the remainder of the session.

The same can be said for electronics like phones and ipads during a session. If we need to resort to a favorite song or show on a phone for instance, I prefer to hold onto it myself, in line with the camera so they can at least focus on me! It is better to not put this directly into their hands during the session itself.

Here are some good articles on rewarding your children for specific behaviors, and how not to overdo it: How to use rewards to motivate kids. And: How to Use Rewards. I also like the tip on reinforcing and rewarding positive behavior : 4 Tips for Raising a Well Behaved Child

10. Positivity is Your Greatest Tool 

You children will pick up on your attitude and can sense your anxieties. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to relax. I’ve dealt with many families, and every. single. family. has ended up with timeless images that reflect their family at the beautiful stage in life they are at right now. Don’t worry and just enjoy the moment and the photos will reflect the unique love your family holds for each other.

(For parents trying to help) Don’t divert your child’s focus. A big issue is when parents stand behind me and try to make silly noises, and otherwise get their kids to smile. The problem is, they aren’t standing directly behind me. They’re standing a little off to the side. This means that the children will look at their parents and not at the camera. Having the kids look to the side is not the goal! If you are going to try to engage your children, stand DIRECTLY behind the photographer. Jump up and down so you can be seen above the photographer’s head if you have to.